Luna 12

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Unread postby Maxv (архив) » 18 Oct 2006, 13:18

[url="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3195242/1/"]Луна 1/2[/url].



Чем-то напоминает "Лунократию". По крайней мере, начало. Луна, блаблабла, рано проснулась, блаблабла, толстый мужик в грязном ги, блаблабла, яма с котами.... Расхождения начались, когда Генма не избавился от надоедливой зверюги, а стал таскать её с собой.



Юмор, пародия, немного хентая (скорее намёки на него). В процессе написания.





Улыбнуло.

[quote][b]Спойлер![/b] That sneaky, backstabbing little devil... Ranma... You've made your father SO PROUD! You're finally beginning to get a grasp on the final aspects of the anything goes curriculum![/spoiler][/quote]



[quote][b]Спойлер![/b] "NOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO A TENTACLE DEMON! EVEN IF IT DID LOOK LIKE LOTS OF FUN IN THE MANGA!"



The Youma dropped into a supreme facefault. Just because of the tentacles, everyone she met assumed she was a serial rapist or something... It had really started getting on her nerves after the first dozen or so times.



On the other hand, the self-proclaimed 'Sailor Moon' had ceased all agressive actions and curled into a little shivering ball, as if inviting Dyriad to come and steal her virginity... LIFE ENERGY, not virginity, LIFE ENERGY! Dammit, now the ditzy, blonde, seductively dressed, rather attractive moon-girl had her doing it... She lunged.

[/spoiler][/quote]
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Unread postby chebmaster » 18 Oct 2006, 21:13

:gimme: Блиииин, "[i]We are currently experiencing heavier than expected traffic and are unable to fulfill your request at this time. Please come back later. Thank you.[/i]"

[стоит, нетерпеливо притопывает ногой, потом начинает ходить кругами....]

"[i]We are currently experiencing heavier than expected traffic and are unable to fulfill your request at this time. Please come back later. Thank you.[/i]"

[ходит кругами дальше]
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Unread postby Hommit (архив) » 18 Oct 2006, 23:18

[quote]The panda was just sitting there, apparently in shock, but in reality paralyzed from a shiatsu point as Nabiki leaned forward and snatched up a hastily scrawled note.



"As all of the three Tendo sisters have expressed their complete and total lack of interest in the arrangement between our two families and schools of martial arts, I hereby take the initiative to declare the mairrage contract between us NULL and VOID, accepting the full honor penalty to the Saotome family name, or what's left of it after the old bastard's been dragging it through the mud for so long. Signed, Ranma Saotome."



A gust of cool wind blew in through the open front door.



"He... left me..."

"... left me... how..."

"HOW DARE HE! THAT BASTARD! I'll show him... NOBODY just up and leaves AKANE TENDO! NOBODY!"[/quote]

:gimme:



[quote]Setsuna screamed in rage as the time gates began shooting off sparks and smoking. Now that Luna had stopped following her masterful plan that involved schoolgirls that had never been in a real fight before managing to singlehandedly take out legion evil beings without any real sort of training whatsoever and only dying once or twice while recieving tiny powerups just in the nick of time, everything had gone to hell in a handbasket.



Well, sort of, anyway. There were now trillions of timelines to monitor, and even though most of them ended up in a far superior future than hers, in that it didn't involve most of the world being covered in a mile thick glacier, but Crystal Tokyo's chances of existing had dropped from the upper eighties to less than one percent!



The fact that compared to most of these other timelines, hers sucked ass was irrelevant. She'd spent thousands of years setting up for this, and she wasn't going to let that go to waste.



All of these extra futures hinged on one Ranma Saotome. How hard could it be to kill one man?



xxx



Throughout the assorted multiverses, billions of gods and demons sneezed and pitied whatever idiot was going after that person this time.



xxx



All she had to do was blast him when he wasn't paying attention and boom. Trillions of unimportant timelines gone, in the flash of a Dead Scream. What could go wrong?



Sadly, her back was to the time gates as it began flashing the billions of things that could go wrong, and she didn't bother to look back before she teleported away.



This is Ranma we're talking about after all.



xxx



"DEAD SCREAM!"



Ranma idly turned a corner and the blast continued into a bus being driven by a Youma. The passengers were perfectly fine, but the bus was totaled and the youma was dead.



xxx



"Dead Scream!"



Ranma blinked and leaned down to pick up five thousand Yen that someone had dropped, causing the blast to pass harmlessly over his head and vaporize a Youma that had been sent on an assassination mission against him by Jadeite. Ranma stood back up, brushed a bit of dust off his shirt and continued ambling randomly along.



xxx



"Dead scream."



Ranma stepped inside a small restaurant for a bite to eat, completely ignoring the ball of energy that flew past the front of the shop to smack into a Youma that had disguised itself as a Ramen vendor down the street, in a nefarious plot to steal the life energy of everone who ate the Ramen. The more you eat, the more gets drained.



Fortunately, Ranma had decided to go for Teriyaki instead.



xxx



Sailor Pluto had encountered a problem as she took aim from a roof across the street of where Ranma was enjoying his Teriyaki Chicken.



"D... Dead... dead sc... huff huff, pant, wheeze..."[/quote]

:rose: :eoy:

[quote]"We have the Bullwhip+2, no real magic effects except it hurts more, The Double Dildo of Enlightenment, which shoots a fireball out of one end and a lightning bolt out of the other, the Ball Gag of Asphyxiation, which has choked the life out of all of its previous victims, the Riding Crop of Itchiness, which when used causes an itch so powerful that the victims eventually tear their own skin off in agony, and the 23-speed Vibrator of Doom."



She blinked at Ranma's skeptical stare.



"What? You think magic Items grow on trees these days? I actually found some other stuff, and some armor too, but... you don't want to see it."



"Show me."



She did. And he somehow went both green and pale at the same time, before leaning back to stare at the ceiling.



"Make it the fancy whip then... Kami-Sama... Someday, I'll die, and we will meet face to face. And I will take great pleasure in paying you back for every shitty moment of my life."



xxx



In Asgard, Ranma's file had a special stamp placed on it.



Immortality pending. Reasons-Classified.[/quote]

:rose: *^_^* :gimme:



ну и бардак...
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Unread postby Siberian-Troll (архив) » 19 Oct 2006, 07:58

We are currently experiencing heavier than expected traffic and are unable to fulfill your request at this time. Please come back later. Thank you



Красивая надпись. в двух вариантах.

А читал "Worlds" - все было пучком. :gimme:
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Unread postby Siberian-Troll (архив) » 19 Oct 2006, 10:58

Да, так и есть, довольно забавно. Если автор закончит фик, я может его и переведу.

А если не закончит... Путь только попробует!
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Unread postby chebmaster » 19 Oct 2006, 20:26

[смотрит на 5-ю главу, копируя выражение Балбеса: "Поллитру?! Разбить?!!"] :gimme:

Тьфу.

Пишешь хентай - так и помечай, что это хентай, н[b]е[/b]хрена под нормальную историю рядить. Хотя и смешно местами, но читать яэту гадость дальше не буду. Нет, хентай по СМ *можно* сделать, но для этого талант нуж[b]о[/b]н. Автор явно не тянет.

[b]Добавлено [mergetime]1161278781[/mergetime]:[/b]

З.Ы. Предлагаю Троллю при переводе добавить от души какой-нибудь отсебятины. Чем чёрт не шутит - авось и получится перековать г**но на конфеты. :gimme:
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Unread postby Siberian-Troll (архив) » 20 Oct 2006, 03:47

Ну, полагаю в последней главе автор банально скис и принялся издеваться над текстом.

Продолжения не будет. Да и смысла в последней главе не видать.

Если я ошибаюсь, то буду приятно удивлен.



Мое предложение датировалось главой 4. Недочел еще. 5 же - сумбур и бессмыслица и без пары серьезных глав, посвященых вытаскиванию сюжета за уши фику ничего не светит. Но этого не будет.
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Unread postby Maxv (архив) » 20 Oct 2006, 07:45

Ну, так вот сразу.... Я, кстати, указал в анотации, что хентай присутствует. В виде упоминания о нём. Вдобавок, хентай не столь традиционный и с юмором. Редкость. Потому как сюжет "Ранма и всех, всех, всех..." также успел несколько надоесть. А насчёт "Автор выдохся" - поглядим. :gimme:

[b]Добавлено [mergetime]1161319503[/mergetime]:[/b]

Вдогонку, от самого автора в подтверждение моих слов.



[quote]I'm wondering just how far I can go with this without actually going all the way to lemons. I just have to avoid descriptivly writing any blatant sex scenes. However, my skill with innuendo and messing with peoples minds by letting their own imagination take its course. Like with that tentacle and the rice, which somebody is doubtlessly going to flame me heavily for.[/quote]
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Unread postby Siberian-Troll (архив) » 20 Oct 2006, 16:36

Ладно. Время покажет. Подождем.
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