Tender Loving Care'

[Siberian-Troll (архив)]

[url="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/527817/1/"]Вышла новая глава....[/url]





Даже и не знаю, как перевести название, оставив каламбурчик между Тендо и тендер....





"Okay boy, now stand still while I wrap this around you," Genma commanded, holding the string of fish sausages.



Ranma twisted his nose at the thought of wearing the smelly things. He turned and looked towards the pit, "What's in there, Pop?"



"Cats, to help you learn an invincible technique," Genma stated proudly.



Ranma opened the trap door, and looked inside. In the darkness he could see several starving cats, scurrying over one another at the sight of light. Ranma's eyes narrowed, as he put two and two together, "I thought you had cats in here..."



"Huh?" Genma asked, puzzled.



"I see a bunch of dogs in here, Pop. Did they eat the cats or something?"



Genma raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about, boy?"



"There aren't any cats in here! Just a bunch of dogs."



"Those aren't dogs, they're cats," maybe he should let the boy attend school more.



"No they're not, they're dogs!"



"Don't be foolish, boy, they're cats! How would I teach you the cat fist with dogs instead of cats?"



"Yeah, it don't make sense! So why do you have dogs in there?"



"They're cats!" Genma stated, his voice rising, "Dogs don't 'meow'."



"There, a few cats in there, the dogs are eating them." Ranma stated passively.



"Look, I'll prove to you they're cats! Just look," Genma went to the trap door and looked inside and pointed, "See how they have pointy ears and slitted cat's eyeeEEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!"



Ranma quickly bolted the trap door shut, leaving his father, who was still holding the smelly fish sausages, trapped in the pit. Ranma ignored the screams of his father, and strode over to his father's pack. Ranma's face grew irritated when he didn't find any money.



Agitated, he walked back to the trap door, and unbolted it, and lifted the door up. His father quickly leapt up and clung to the side. Ranma quickly reached into his father's gi, and chirped cheerfully when he found the money his dad saved. Giving a hard kick to Genma's face, his father was sent screaming back into the depths of the ravenous felines. Ranma re-bolted the trap door, and started skipping to the store to buy some candy.

[Climhazard]

Тролль, у тебя дар на баяны :).

[Crystal (архив)]

Забавная вещица, правда по мне, когда Акане присоединяется к веселью, весь юмор пропадает.

[Siberian-Troll (архив)]

Мдя, [url="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/527817/34/"]новая глава[/url]

или то, что я всегда хотел увидать:

Ранма против Нодоки



[quote]"What? You mean that woman claiming to be my mom?" Ranma enquired, before snorting, "Not likely."



"Well, young man, I think it's a highly likely scenario..."



Ranma lazily raised his head to regard the woman standing in Akane's doorway, "Oh, it's you."



"First, you will not address me as 'you'," the woman commanded, "Second, you will respect me, I am your mother, and-"



"If you're my mother, why didn't Pop ever mention ya?" Ranma interjected, staring up at the ceiling as if it were more interesting than the woman in the threshold.



"It's because I... wait, what do you mean he never mentioned me?"



Ranma blew a stray hair that was tickling his nose from his bangs, "Pop never talked about ya, he never even hinted at ya, nutt'n. You some kinda scam artist? If you are, Pop's ain't exactly loaded."



Nodoka's left eye twitched, "Well, I think I'll discuss this... oversight with your father on a later date, as for you? While I shall give your father the benefit of the doubt... for the time being... that he has successfully raised you to meet the capabilities he boasted he would instill in you, I think it's time you learned how to be a man of proper society, as well as a man among men."



"Izzat so...?" Ranma drawled, unimpressed by the woman, "What makes you think you can succeed where a whole village of warrior women failed?"



"She's not out to kill you, Ranma," Akane interjected, before turning back to her homework, "Though once she gets to know you..."



"I thought I was such a lovable guy, too."



"Like the Anti-Christ is a lovable guy."



"Enough, you will treat me with the respect I am warranted as your mother and your elder, or else..."



"Or else... what?" Ranma challenged, sitting up on the bed and glaring defiantly at the woman.



Nodoka fingered the wrapped bundle she had been holding against her shoulder in the crook of her left arm, "Or else... I shall have to discipline you?"



"I'd like to see you try!"



"Please try somewhere else, I'm trying to study for this Calculus test," Akane asked, finally growing tired of the son/mother posturing.[/quote]