by Siberian-Troll (архив) » 03 Oct 2008, 08:54
Озвереет
[quote][b]Dwarf Planet My Ass![/b]
by JohnnyG
As you may or may not be aware, the International Astronomical Union recently voted to reclassify the planet Pluto. It is no longer a ”planet” but rather a ”dwarf planet”. This is how the vote should've gone.
At the voting
”All in favor of Pluto remaining a planet, raise your hands.”
The group of supporters for the planet all sat in one section. Unfortunately, their numbers were insignificant compared to the rest, so only a small circle of hands were raised. After the count was done, the chairman began again.
”Okay, all those not in favor of Pluto remaining a planet, raise-”
”Dead Scream!” came a feminine voice, and then an explosion. It had been whispered, but in the conference hall, it seemed to echo. Some thought they heard it again and again after additional explosions accompanied the first.
When the dust settled, the only people left standing (or sitting for that matter) were the chairman, the group of Pluto supporters, and a tall, green-haired woman wearing a sailor fuku and carrying a key-like staff. She quirked an elegant eyebrow at the poor man who simply stood at the podium gaping.
”I believe you were conducting a vote,” she said coolly.
”Uh, well, we can’t really continue after-” He was cut off as she raised her staff and a ball of energy began to form.
”Never mind,” he responded quickly, and then breathed a sigh of relief when the energy dissipated. ”Eh-hem, all those not in favor of Pluto remaining a planet, please raise your hand.”
Amazingly enough, nobody did.
”Well,” the woman said casually. ”I believe you have your answer. I certainly hope that another vote won’t be needed.” The last was the poorest attempt at a veiled threat anyone in the room had ever heard.
”No, ma’am,” the chairman squeaked.
Nodding in satisfaction, the woman waved her staff and with a bright flash of light, was suddenly gone.
And thus it was, that the Planet Pluto was never downgraded to a mere ”dwarf planet”.[/quote]
По факту, согласно кретинскому определению IAU третьего пункта (требование очищать от посторонних тел свою орбиту) не только Плутон, но и Земля, Марс, Юпитер и Нептун - тоже не планеты.
В штате Калифорния новое постановление было официально обьявлено ересью.
В штате Нью Мексико (родине Персиваля Лоуэлла, открывшего Плутон) - Плутон официально считается планетой и сказано, что так будет всегда.
Зато в английском появилось новое определение - "to pluto" (preterite and past participle: "plutoed") заплутонить - нарочно преуменьшить или обесценить что-либо
В общем, если серьезно, то даже по тому постановлению Плутон все равно планета. Только карликовая - dwarf planet.
Как и еще с дюжину новых планет. Подозреваю, что в Серебрянном Тысячелетии сенши было как собак нерезанных.